Single vs. Married, a battle against ourselves

"I KNOW that she only has a problem with me because I'm married."

"Well, most times, single women DO have issues."

"Is it wrong to want to take a minute to improve myself before I get in a relationship?"

I found myself playing devil's advocate in a conversation on women and envy the other day. The funny thing is there were two advocates defending married women, one man agreeing that women can't get over stuff "They're like velcro" he said, and four other women pretty much silent (three were single). Basically, the argument was that single women (or a lot of them) have a problem with married women.

"Like I don't know what you go through. Maybe some days I wish I WAS by myself, you don't know." One woman explained how a lot of single people make an assumption about married people (women in particular).

After listening to these women (old enough to be my grandmothers) I decided to jump in. My argument is this:

For many women (I don't know about guys) we are judged by our marital status. Identified and validated by whether or not we have a man. Forget whether or not the man's good, he just has to be there -sometimes. It's so bad it's to the point where after having a bad experience and a woman chooses to sit out and take the time to reflect, learn from her mistakes, and try to become a better person, to love herself, she gets funny looks. The response? "Well, usually there IS something wrong with her."

The only thing that's wrong when a person chooses to first love themselves, know themselves, and become a better person is the backward comments he/she receives. "Oh you just full of yourself." "You're so egotistical." When did it become crazy to try and be a better person? And WHAT is wrong with this society when that's looked down upon?

Okay, I'm no fan of 'The Cat Lady' either. But anyone who steps back form romance to deeply reflect, love themselves, and love God is a freakin genius in my book. I really wish there were public forums on this topic. People get so heated defending their chosen lifestyles.

When you don't love yourself, that's a problem. If you can't love yourself and be with someone, by all means, chill out and ride solo. This makes me think of those people who end up getting married, who are not mature enough to handle business in their daily lives, then end up having screwed up kids. THEN people complain about their kids! Excuse me, but they came from somewhere.

Maybe we just need to look at our spiritual reflections a little more, and worry about having a warm body a little less.