Slumdog: A Dedication

Sometimes you have to be grateful for sheer inspiration. This was a very inspired piece. I wasn't sure where my pen would take me as I wrote this. Whether it would be anger, resentment, sadness..etc. But I guess those things aren't in me anymore- rather a sense of peace and calm. And after a couple minutes of work, I'm happy with the results. I'll probably tweak it a bit, but nothing is ever concrete. I'm looking forward to reading this at the next open mic.  ^_^
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Eventually, I’ll stop checking my phone.

Not anticipating your communicating,

But out of habit.

 

You have a bad habit.

You were my bad habit.

 

Acknowledging deceit while you creep.

But I wasn’t your victim.

 

Like a panther at midnight in high branches of trees,

I watched you. Waiting.

All while you tried to make me feel as if I have the issues.

You would get comfortable.

You would doubt my vigilance,

Overestimate your vigor, and seek no repentance.

 

I was placed in front of you,

Not to love you and be your wife.

No, I am your antithesis.

You, snake, slimy, scum.
Remarks snide. Dark soul.
Eyes wide shut.

And I. Head held high.
Never low, insignificant or
Less than worthy of wonderful.
Never holding grudge and never believed your lies.

 

You are super bad, man.

And I am your kryptonite.

 

So tonight the three of us won’t wait for your

Clockworked rehearsal of loveless venom.

No. We sleep in delight.

Knowing you are no shiny knight.
You have no steed.

You only love yourself.
And you have met your match.

 

Allow me to reintroduce myself.

I’m the best woman you ever tried to deceive.
The woman of your dreams.

And your very worst nightmare.

 

I am love for God. Trust before any man.

Deep respect for self.

Because without my love I need no one else.

I am Faith, Hope, Love, Trust.

All foreign languages to you.

 

Entonces, no me digas que me ames.

No sabes que es el amor, ni tienes una corazon.

Eres la oscuridad.

Y yo. Yo soy el Sol.

What it means when she walks away...

I haven't thought of a really clever title, feel free to make suggestions in the comments. This is honest, cerebral, a little funny, and definitely a hopeful (as opposed to hopeless) romantic's view on leaving a situation alone. It all came out at once so I may edit the content and/or format down the line...
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See I call you out on your bull, secretly hoping that you'll prove me wrong.
Hoping that you'll step up before this fine brother comes along.
He'll be 3 inches taller, and did I mention fine?
As he passes by he'll simply rhyme "Queen, keep me in mind."
Afterwards he'd meet me in my illustrious, dark, illuminating fantasy.
He would show me what it felt like to be held by a man.

So if you don't step up,
Well damn.
I guess I've already made other plans.

But still I sit here hoping you'll knock on my door.
That you'll surprise me.
Knowing that you won't.
I say good bye, hoping you'll stop me.
But you don't.

Show me how much this means to you, that's why I walk away.
Now, this might tempt you to say, "Then why don't you just stay?"
The thing is, Big Mama always told me,
"Baby, you got to let the sleeping dog lay."

When you're ready for a change...

When you're ready for change you have to get your mind right. The first step in making your mind ready for your next step is recognizing what kind of shape it's in. Strip down to nothing. Look at it in the mirror without sucking in. That's what most of us are simply scared or too stubborn to do. Many times we fail because we don't evaluate before pressing ahead. It doesn't matter if it's romance, a class, or a new job. We have to evaluate and make the decision that we'll do better or just stay the same.

-------------------------- Untitled (like most of my stuff) -----------------
To proud to admit mistakes.
Fake it 'til you make it is what they say.
But the heart can't fake whole after a break.

What do I dream of?
Who do I want?
Mistakes happen but it's up to us not to wait on fate.
It is what we make.
We'll be looking forward to the same thing if our actions don't change.
But how do I change my actions?
I have God's best guide to thrive but I'm still half-baked.

Whatever's missing is on the inside.
I'm what's missing from my life.
We can point fingers, but why lie?
It's up to me to grab success and to thrive.
I only have to focus, pray, and decide.